last night i was playing cards with some people
i work with.
i started getting bad flashbacks of
and then they kept coming...
the flashbacks of using.
i felt weird and awkward.
i felt inferior and
i felt like if only these people knew what goes on
in my head...
they wouldnt want to socialize with me.
i felt alienated
in my mind.
i told them i was going back to my apartment cuz i was
and i almost cried when i got home.
then i dug into my Bible to find some comfort.
I sought the Lord and he answered me,
he delivered me from all my fears.
but i wasnt completely calmed.
the attacks kept coming
i rocked myself to a light sleep,
i dreamt that i was screaming...
and i was up at 5am...
with my thoughts.
one way that satan always tried getting me
is in my mind.
he makes me think im gona go crazy again.
and i HATE him.
hes so STUPID and ANNOYING and hes a
LEAVE ME ALONE!