giving glory to God through dance and testimony...praise Jesus:)

people

of course in NYC there is absolutely no place where peace resides...
but i adventured in central park yesterday in the attempt to find peace, my first time there since ive lived in the city.
and although it was green and full of nature... somewhat... it was mobbed with people.

people, people, weird people everywhere.

short people, big people, little people, stalking men people, people with cameras, people with a book, people making out, people doing yoga, people playing sports, people in a boat, people selling pretzels, people playing a violin and a tamburine and lots of people with DOGS.

i just want to be where no one is.

no one except me and God.

when and where can i go and meet with God???

where is my secluded rest?

i am so drained from all the people.

David Wilkerson- Founder of Teen Challenge Inc.

little girl

i was in the drug store the other day and was greatly distressed when i saw what was happening to a young girl. she was about 9 years old and the older man that was with her kept calling her stupid and was pushing her around. he then continued to push her head around and yelled profanities. the workers and pharmacists at the store just kept working and kept their mouth shut. as if nothing was wrong.

i burned with anger. and i glared at that man, as if to say 'what do u think ur doing to that girl?'

he could see my disgust and my body language- that i was ready to protect and defend the little girl-

and he backed off.

the girl looked up at me and smiled.

i smiled back and tried to give her as much comfort as i could with my presence.

all day long i prayed for her, and him. and i prayed and prayed. and God heard my prayer. please protect her, God.

Israel decieved

i was walking home from the Tabernacle sunday and saw a loud group of
men speaking the gospel into microphone.

curious me;
decided to go approach them.

i was talking with one of the men and he said they were from israel-
that the original jews were from europe...

"did you know God is black?"

"oh, he could be..." (i said lightly)

"NO! HE IS BLACK! NOT COULD BE- HE IS!!"

i laughed.

then he went on to show me a picture of the Last Supper.
he said that it was a hoax, and then he showed me a woman in the picture.
(i knew the picture he was showing me was useless- seeing as how there were no cameras back in Jesus time anyway)

he said, "you look like that woman in the picture."

i laughed again- "yea, could be. after all, i am a disciple of Jesus Christ."

he said, "NO! YOU ARE NOT! YOU ARE A DISCIPLE OF SATAN!"

i tapped him on the shoulder and smiled...
and then i walked home.

i had to speak out Luke 10:18-20 the whole way home...
then i prayed and anointed my head with oil in the name of Jesus.

lines

A left brain person probably looks at a picture like this and sees a subway rail... which is logical.

I have to say, the parallelism is wonderful

Someone could see dust, rust, or
shine.

I like to count all the lines I see.
And make patterns.

Some people see a math problem and solution,
some see the colors and texture.

Other people see how hard and cold it looks.

I think this should be applied to the many world views...
we are all looking at things through different
lenses-

And everyone has had different experiences that lead them to many different

perspectives.

he's stoned

he was a big guy...
probably 300 pounds.

he was stuffing his face with pork rinds.
crumbs falling all over his chin.

his eyes were half shut and
beat red.

i smirked with how gross he looked and
remembering how i used to look just like that.

stoned out of my mind.
oblivious to my demeanor.

now i see that looking like that
is not very attractive.

in fact-
its repulsive.

do u need a dollar?

Man I felt stupid.

Sometimes in this area its hard to tell if someone
is homeless or just acting... or just sitting there
and they just happened to forget to shower for a few
years...

it's hard to tell sometimes.

so when i saw an older lady slouched on a railing
with a cart full of bottles and cans,
i offered her money.

she just looked at me and shook her head
No.

ouch...that hurt.

And i walked away feeling like an idiot.

wonder what she thought of me...
although it doesn't really matter cuz ill probably never
see her again.

i wonder who's pride was hurt more.

well, in any event, i felt stupid.
i felt like i wasnt supposed to offer her money...

i guess i will learn my way around here as i go

drunk girl on clinton ave

I saw two feet sticking up from behind a car...
As I walked down Clinton ave.

The newspaper dispenser was knocked over
On sidewalk.

Me and a few other passerbys
Walked over to assist this disheveled lady.
She was wearing socks with her slippers
And was stuffed into a pair of skinny jeans,
That frankly were way too small because
her Buttcrack was hanging out.

She didn't seem to mind though.
As we helped her up,
I got a big whiff of her breath...
Straight nasty, rotting liquor.

The one guy asked what I thought was wrong with
Her.
And I just said plainly- she's wasted.
And off she went stumbling to who knows where
Or why...and there was no sense talking to her...

She wouldn't have heard me.

It brought up a memory of mine when I had my most
Recent suicide attempt.

I overdosed on a cocktail of Psych Meds, xanax, clonopine
And Muscle relaxers.
Then I attempted to walk to city from the suburbs to buy
Crack to finish it off.

I remember staggering and falling down
And people staring at me with that disgusted look.
It was winter, so all my clothes and purse was soaked
From the snow.

I don't know how I ended up in city, but I did, with crack...
God only knows.

The next thing I remember is waking up in hospital with
Tubes in me and a painful catheter that I tried ripping out.

The doctors looked over me, perplexed...
'It's a miracle Ur alive.'

A good friend from childhood and her mom came to tell
Me that God still loves me.
Anger arose.
'God doesn't exist!
And if he does, then I hate him!!!!!'

They just gave me that sympathetic look
And left.

I was moved from psychiatric intensive care unit
To the upstairs residential r-wing

Where I would have plenty of time to talk with the
Demons that taunted me.