giving glory to God through dance and testimony...praise Jesus:)

my Jesus

last night i was swept away once again by my Jesus!
i am so thirsty for His presence... He made Himself known to me last night and stopped me dead in my tracks.  my sweet Jesus.

the only thing i could do was stand still and feel Him.  this was an encounter i needed to assure me that i am in Gods will.  i need to know i am going in the right direction all the time.  every second.  there is nothing i can do without Him.

i could describe the heavy presence of God, but it would not do justice... so i will just leave it at that.  that i was swept away.  intoxicated by Him.  drawn to Him.  so in love with Him. 
He is love... and when we have an encounter with God- it is the very essence of melting in the glory of perfect love.

peace, peace... my soul will rest in You.

Fire Rhythm

Inspired revival.  Inspirational fire. 

Don’t let one persons smoke become your choke. 

Keep your flame burning bright with the breath of the Holy One… the Only One.

Trust in God, not in man. 

A man is always gona let you down.  God is always gona have the Crown.

Although the darkness comes in- do not let your eyes go blind. 

Do not let your evil desires melt into the night.

Although the enemy comes in like a flood- the Holy Spirit raises the standard.

Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus.  The author and perfector of your faith.

When you let Jesus in- He not only saves your soul, but starts to break the hard walls you have built.

Let Jesus in today.  Today is the day of salvation.  Yesterday is gone. 

Tomorrow takes too long to get here.  If it even comes.

Don't be scared when your walls start to fall... for it is only in the destruction of yourself- that the creation of your destiny becomes reality.

It's happening.  The transformation biology.  The end of you- the start of LIFE.

Just take it from me.  An ex heroin, crack addict... and ex criminal and mentally ill lost girl. 

A real live miracle is staring you in the face.  Rise up and take your place.

From NYC to Swaziland... God is still God.

Swaziland Adventure

i have always felt a pull to Africa.

in 2 days i begin an adventure of a lifetime.
i am off to Swaziland!

i have so many feelings towards this...
... i am unworthy, undeserving, not ready.

i have been in a battle this last week... serious battle.
i had to speak out that the blood of Jesus covers me all day, everyday.

been feeling like running away.

but i know the truth.  the truth is love.  freedom.  joy.  peace.  the truth is within me.

to run away is a lie.

but the fight has been great.  a strong force does not want me to go there.  and it tries to torment me.

i trust God to break me through when i am in Africa.

YES! I AM GOING TO AFRICA! THANK YOU JESUS!

frozen in time

the other night in the shower, i experienced the presence of God so thick that i was literally frozen.

the shower is always a place of gratitude for me- coming from a hardcore addiction- you can imagine the dirtiness i endured.

i started smiling as i thought about God.

my smile quickly turned into divine giggling.

i couldnt stop.

my huge smile froze on my face as i started to sway... like a little girl does when her daddy comes home from work.

my eyes started to tear and the tears streamed down my wet face.

in the shower. with God.

frozen in time with the Creator of the universe. Pure Heaven.

lifted up

its sad to say that i have an easier time writing when things are going wrong.
i think i am so used to being able to describe what hell is like, that i have not given myself a chance to write when i am experiencing heaven.

hence- the name of my blog is From HEROIN TO HEAVEN

from opposite sides of the spectrum, indeed.

this summer i am experiencing pure bliss. i have graduated WHH, i had my 27th birthday yesterday, which was SO GOOD. and i will be graduating at the end of summer from TCMI- and i will be a Certified Minister.

no wonder i have been going through season of dryness and torment...
God has been preparing me to receive these blessings.

God cannot bless those who are proud and arrogant... so He taught me humility and full dependance on Him during my recent season of hardship.

i think i have figured out that- the more one is tormented and brought low to the ground... the higher they are lifted up.

good lesson.

one to take with me the rest of my life.

Graduating the Walter Hoving Home- School for Christian Growth

With God, NOTHING is impossible

not going back in the door of the past... moving FORWARD!

i love my job

not dead yet

well, it looks like i am still alive.

i rejoice because i have another day to tell about Jesus!

although i would like to go home and be with my Father, much more than be here...

i will wait until He takes me.

REJOICE!

list of likes

i like my space. i like privacy. i like to be around godly people. i like to be alone with Jesus as much as i can. i like to work when brother don is here. i like school when i learn something. i like going to the brooklyn tabernacle. i like being in the presence of people worshipping God. i like to sing and dance for the one i love. i like having dreams. i like receiving visions. i like reading. i like writing. i like being humble. i like skyping with my friends in Christ all over the world. i like when people tell me their greatest fear. i like when people accept me. i like when im walking down the street and a little 1 year old wobbles in front of me and i say, 'oh, well hello there! how are you little one?' i like when parents trust me to be with their children. i like showing children the love of Jesus. i like having peace in my mind. i like having joy in my heart. but most of all, i like resting in the arms of the Lord.

chalk vision

vein

this morning i was putting on my bracelet and
i saw a vein pop from my wrist!

i immediately thought of how that vein is now usable
for IV drug use...

my veins have been collapsed now for years.
i used to shoot up in my neck, behind my knees, my shins.

anywhere i could.

i would spend literally HOURS attempting to find a vein during the
end of my addiction.
i remember the table, and the blood, and the spoons and cotton.
i remember the endless, gruesome hours and how my back would start to
hurt becuz i was hunched over for so many HOURS trying to shoot.

UHHH!
i hated it. i hated it. i hated it.


its been over a year and a half since i shot up-
my veins r coming to life again!

i know that the thought i had of how good that vein is now for shooting,
is just a stupid temptation.
and since i have tasted the goodness of God and
the LOVE He has for me...
how can i turn away from Him again?
how can i ever go back?

i refuse to return to Hell.
God has called me out of darkness and
into His GLORIOUS LIGHT!

how can i go back to Hell+Heroin?
now that i have experienced HEAVEN?

He woke me up

it was a very stern voice
that woke me up last night.

YOU WERE WHAT YOU WERE-
BUT YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE IN ME.

thank u God for those words...
that means everything to me.

the past is gone and now becuz of Christ
i am who i am
in Him.

good feeling

Here is some irony for you today-

I was in counseling for over 12 years of my life-

Today I become a counselor...

I think God is hysterical lol

in love

Hallelujah

Grace like rain

Falls down on me

Hallelujah

+++++++++++++++++++++++

the hell i went through

brought me to you.

and now i cant help but sing all about you.

i cant help but tell everyone what you did

for me.

for me, a drug addicted, mentally ill, prostitute, worthless mess.

you raised me up and poured your grace on me

you kept forgiving me as i asked...

you never once shut me out.

you never turned me away.

all the times i cursed and swore at you,

and said you werent real...

you have forgiven me.

you can forgive even the worst of sinners.

i love you.

flyin HIGH

this is how i get high
no longer held down by the whips and chains of heroin
now i soar higher than any substance could get me

nothing to hold me back
to reach my tru destiny

there is no more disguising who i really am
and no more hiding my child like spirit

i am meant to soar
to fly high

and i am meant to be FREE.