just needed to ramble i guess... im anxiously awaiting another God-given, God-ordained adventure that i will leave for in 26 days! missions training in AFRICA! never had so much peace in my life about totally surrendering to hardships, discomfort, 3rd world obstacles, or lack of any familiarity i've ever built up in this life- not that i have much... but i know that spiritual treasures are not found in things or possessions-but in faith. and i am ready to go treasure hunting! my faith is ready to fly to new heights and experience supernatural miracles and wonders. my faith is being stirred as i anticipate this love affair with my Savior. He already has given me so much grace and love... my brain is stumped on how much more He is going to lavish upon me in the spiritual realm.
but God says, "there is still more!"
You make known to me the path of life;
In Your presence there is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
this promise SO excites me!
a man after Gods heart, who i will call "Z," showed up one day in january at my front door and i have been getting to know him alot these past months. as i get ready for Africa i am also embracing this man into my life of total devotion to Jesus. i am embracing him because i have been praying for a man to literally just show up in my life who loves Jesus as much, if not more, than i do. his heart is set on serving God. my heart is set on serving God. is "Z" who God wants for me? the figurings of how exactly God works and does things is beyond my miniscule 28 years of being a Christian, then not, then back again. a prodigal daughter brought to her full inheritance? even though she was a former slave to all evil, sin and sickness? again, my mind wont let me understand the goodness of God or His all-knowing, ever-present and all-powerful character. this is just something i have to accept. in my heart- i certainly do accept it... even though my mind tries to fight me on it! i have been in alot of prayer about this man i am calling "Z" and considering a possible life with him instead of sojourning this planet alone. could an insane lover of Jesus share that kind of love with someone else? could it increase my love for Jesus by also loving a man? questions i ask myself... knowing that it is not up to me to decide, nor configure.
praise the Lord for His infinite wisdom and leading in this dedicated, servant girls life:)