Tuesday, December 6, 2011

dream of the past

ugh... woke up with the resin of a filthy dream dripping inside my mind.

i was pregnant.  i was contemplating abortion.  i was fighting myself, and wanted to keep the baby.  people around me were all gross.  i was surrounded by men from the past.  there was sex and torment.

this wouldnt have hit me so deep today, if i hadnt had an abortion ten years ago- when i was 17.

in my dream, i was frantic... thoughts racing of how i was going to support the baby, and there was no father.  it was just me and a bunch of sex-driven men who drove me around in cars, and pulled me in different directions. 

it was just me surviving the evil that was impregnated in my soul.

it has been a shadow over me all day... gloomy gross past memories...

and the sky is gray today, and has been overcast... even the weather agrees.

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