I wrote this poem when I first came into the Walter Hoving Home
I was still mildly psychotic and fresh off of methadone amongst many other drugs
…. I believe I was writing this to Satan.
Written on July 21st, 2009 in Christian Rehab
You cut me up
Roughed me up
Tossed me up
Then threw me down
Shoved my face in the ground
Then put your foot on the back of my head
And grinded it all around.
You robbed me, mobbed me
Came in the night and clobbered me
You heard me scream and didn’t stop.
You didn’t stop. You didn’t stop.
I begged and pleaded- ‘please don’t do this’
But you didn’t listen, you wanted more.
You wanted all of me and you got it
It was so easy to give you all of me
When we first met. Because you made me
Think you were what I needed
Made me think I was incomplete.
But you lied! How could something that makes me feel
So good, make me act all hood?
You had me tied up in the psych ward,
Yelling to the nurses- ‘there is no Lord!’
Yea, you had me.
Doctors telling me, ‘I’m going to up your dosage.’
‘Sure doc, hold me hostage.’
Crazy in the membrane
Somethings wrong in my brain
Man, I’m going insane!
Who am I gona blame?
Yea, you had me
But without you was the worst
Did maniac things when you weren’t around
Going downtown and panhandling like a clown
There’s no doubt, I fell deep and hard
You took broken glass and twisted it in my heart.
Without you I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t be
I suffocated, drowned and fell into misery.
I kicked and kicked and kicked and kicked and kicked.
Man, get me a lick.