self image

ever since i started ballet when i was 6,
i started to scan and analyze my body way too much.
i compared my body to other girls' and thought i should
slim down.

i have never been overweight.
just in my mind i have.

i began throwing up my food when i was about 13 or 14.
i taught the other girls in my performing arts school how to do it.
my obsession with my weight comes and goes
nowadays...

i no longer throw up my food,
but the thought of this extra fat on my body creeps in my mind sometimes.

its a distraction from growing closer to God,
i know it is.
so i just try really hard to keep the scriptures going in my head and flowing out of
my mouth all day.

this too will pass.

...just something im struggling with today.