Thursday, August 5, 2010

in pain

one of my many 'thorns in the flesh' is that i get migraines.
ive had them since i was like 10... i throw up and everything.

when i was eating every type of pill imaginable, i couldnt really feel the pain.
now, its very obvious when im hurting physically.

when i used to have bouts of sobriety, one of the reasons the drugs would call
me back, would be to calm the pain in my body...(mostly the pain in my head)

i think the absolute main reason i always relapsed was because my memories
and flashbacks were too much to handle and i would go crazy thinking
about the murder i saw
or bloody events.

These flashbacks don't taunt me anymore because I finally
Accepted forgiveness.
The love of Jesus makes all things new...
Jesus has given me a WAY OUT.
i dont have to live in fear, or guilt any more.
paranoia is something that Jesus does NOT give me.

So when I'm in pain...
I remember how much worse my pain used to be
And then I thank my God and continue on.

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