woke up this morning in a panic.
lately my dreams have been haunting me of my past.
the dream was about me and my cousin that i used to get high with... we were at a kitchen table with other people and had just bought a large amount of cocaine... we were passing it around and i remember my anxiety level being very high because my turn to use the drug wasnt coming quickly enough and i always was like that in my addiction. i could never enjoy my high because i was too worried about where my next high was going to come from and what i would have to do to get it.
so my cousin gave me a hug and i was chewing gum... and spit it out because i wanted to taste just the cocaine and nothing else. when he hugged me, all i could think was- get away from me- where's my next hit?
i woke up in a panic.
this is how i fight-
THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD I SHALL NOT BE IN WANT
HE MAKES ME LIE DOWN IN GREEN PASTURES
HE LEADS ME BESIDE QUIET WATERS
HE GUIDES ME IN PATHS OF RIGHTEOUSNESS FOR HIS NAMES SAKE
YEA, THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH
I WILL FEAR NO EVIL- FOR YOU ARE WITH ME
YOUR ROD AND YOUR STAFF THEY COMFORT ME
YOU PREPARE A TABLE BEFORE ME IN THE PRESENCE OF MY ENEMIES
YOU ANNOINT MY HEAD WITH OIL AND MY CUP OVERFLOWS
SURELY GOODNESS AND LOVE WILL FOLLOW ME ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE
AND I WILL DWELL IN THE HOUSE OF THE LORD FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!
i will repeat this all day if i have to.
thank you JESUS!