Thursday, October 11, 2012

group therapy Satan debate

*memory from a group therapy session... some years ago*

therapist: so... you say you heard a voice speak to you last night?
me: yes

therapist: what did the voice say?
me: he said 'you are worthless' his voice was cold and low like a monster.

therapist: he?
me: yes, it was Satan

therapist: Satan...ok.  i find it interesting that it was a male voice.
me: why? i told you who it was.

therapist: well...lets not assume that Satan talks to us.
me: why not?..... dont you know who is talking to you when you hear voices?

therapist: do you think it might be possible that Satan was in your head?
me: NO. he was in my room.

therapist: you saw him?
me: i didnt have to see him, i felt him, i heard his voice outside of my head... he was in my room.  he was right next to me, breathing on me.  and i know that i know that i know it was him.

therapist: i think we should try to look into why a male voice was speaking to you last night saying you were worthless.  did he say anything else to you?
me: yes.  he said i was going to be unsuccessful and fail in everything i do.  he told me i was a whore who deserved to be burned and tortured.  he told me God wasnt going to help me.

therapist: did a man ever say this to you in your life?
me: sure- when i was using and scheming- all the time.  but it wasnt a 'voice from the past' it was Satan who was speaking to me.

therapist: (stares in my eyes... and tries to search my soul.)
me: (i stare back.  i know what i know.  go ahead and search me.)
one of the patients: (glares at me and smirks.)

therapist: im going to talk with your pyschiatrist- lets see if we can increase the milligrams on your meds, ok?
me: sure... fill me with more chemicals. seems to be working- doesnt it?

been off brain meds for 4 years!!!!!  victory is sweet.

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