Saturday, August 13, 2011

looking through old writings...

so i am currently at my parents house on a week off from working in ministry and going to bible school.

i was looking through old writings and papers...

they are so fascinating to read.

just a few years ago i was this nervous-pyschotic mess, and now i AM NOT. by the power of GOD.

i would always write especially when i was in the pysch ward. i would write to the 'people in charge' and tell them how they couldnt do their job right. i would write to the legal people and threaten to sue for malpractice. i would write to get my thoughts out on a non-moving substance(paper).

some of the writings i couldnt even read because the handwriting was so messy. these writings i could tell were when i was extremely upset or emotional. and a lot of them i would not-knowingly make into poetry. i ended up with words that rhymed.

surprisingly, i found some writings about God. but it was my experience of not knowing God, of being empty and jealous of people that were happy and laughing. a lot of my writing was anger at 'people are always joking and having a great time, while im stuck in this mental hospital.'

one of the writings was from a boy that was in the ward with me one time, and he told me i
"was an angel that came down from heaven to be my friend."
-this boy was somewhat of a special person.

but it still struck me that someone would say that about me, even when i was at my worst. amazing.

sometimes i have to pinch myself when i think of how FREE i am now. i have lived over a decade in slavery. how lovely is the dwelling house of my God. how sweet is the liberty in His presence. how great is our God.

No comments:

Post a Comment