i had a loose tooth, so i was wiggling it with my tongue. i finally pulled the tooth out. then i looked in mirror and saw i had a total of 3 missing teeth. this woke me up- because i was distressed (no one likes to lose teeth, especially in your 20's) and when i was in the bathroom, i heard a voice say,
"in 3 days you will lose your life."
i have been in contemplative-mode all day... and worried. but peaceful at the same time.
i know that satan used to talk to me all the time, but this voice was unrecognizable because it was more in my head, than it was in real space.
so i am faced with a choice. i can either take this dream/experience as a meaningless trist within the unconscious realm, or i can flip out and tell everyone IM GONA DIE, OH NO!!!
or i can remain at peace and know that God has me divinely protected and that whatever is His will, will happen in my life, because i do not want to fight Him.
but today has made me reflect on some things in my life. and we only have one life here on earth, and we can choose to use it however we want to. we can choose to buy happiness and to buy peoples' affection. we can use it to hurt other people, and put people down. we can use our lives to spread rumors and lies about people. we can start fights and stir hate in peoples' hearts. we can choose to be miserable and pout. we can be sad for what we have left pass us by in life. we can hold onto resentments for what others have done to us. we can not talk to eachother because, 'im mad at you.' we can even kill eachother if it gets down to it, cant we? in some cases, murder happens in a second. it happens first in the mind, then it only takes one hurtful word to send the person into murder mode. it happens all the time. every day people are getting murdered because of ignorance, hate, and greed. but if only people could see how we ought to be living... to see through pure eyes. all of this life is meaningless. nothing in this world is worth dying for, except love. and love for other people. but on the flip side- people who murder, usually kill for a materialistic want. they kill because they want your money and your wife. they want power and fame. how stupid are they! they cant see that what they think will fill them up and give them joy is the very thing that takes them down.
one of my deepest desires is that this world would just wake up.
life is so much more than money. life is more than sex. life is more than a position at work, or looking good in front of your peers. life is meant to be spent preparing for the next. it is meant to be a training ground, a journey into knowledge of our God, our Savior. life is beautiful. it is the revelation of knowing how useless it is, that one can be truly free!
and if these are my last 3 days on earth, i will make it my mission to influence as many people as i can on the importance of a relationship with Jesus, because without Him, i would be really anxious that if i died i would go to hell. but because i believe in Him, i believe He died and rose on the third day, i believe that He did this for me. He died on the cross and took all my pain and sin. He is the son of God. He is the spotless lamb. He is the alpha and omega. nothing was before Him, and nothing is after Him. Jesus, the Holy Spirit and God are all one in the trinity. and i have the Spirit breathing life into me right now. the word of God is alive, it is sharper than any two edged sword- it cuts deep into my soul and delivers me from my fears.
freedom and joy are the best gifts that have ever been given to me. no person can fill that emptiness in you. dont blame someone else for your feelings and hurts. instead, work things out with eachother, and be good examples to your kids. hug eachother and tell everyone how much God loves them. dont be afraid to face the giants in life. take each day as one day- dont look so far ahead that you cant see the child crying in front of you. work hard at your job and provide for your family. tell jokes to make the workday go by faster. pray every moment you think of it. ask God for all your needs and wants. seek God first and foremost and everything else will be added to you. be filled with the Holy Spirit- if you dont know how- ask God. be patient with people that hurt you- remember that they only hurt you because they themselves are full of sadness and turmoil.
there is no problem too big for God.
you are never too far gone that God cant save you.