pill dream

the only reason i was being questioned for using,
was becuz i had just stolen a cd from the store.
and i felt my soul drop,
becuz yet again- here i go messing up.

i was outside the store; running...
and running...
i ran and ran and ran-
i reached into my left front pocket and grabbed the xanax and clondopine
and harshly threw them on the ground.

i was so angry

and someone was chasing me, and i wanted to get rid of the pills before they caught me.
but they saw me throw them anyways.

i finally stopped running

i eventually told the store clerks that i did steal
and wanted to give that cd to my friend for her birthday.

the woman clerk pulled me into the back room...
she sat right down next to me and stared me in the eyes.
i immediately began crying as i talked about my past,
and why i needed to steal so i could buy more heroin and pills, to not be sick from the drugs.

she just kept looking at me with concern and compassion.
and i broke.

i told her everything.
and she forgave me.