bus ride

I'm riding home on the bus from visiting family and
Have urge to write.
It's a seven hour ride... might as well.

Anything can set off a memory.
The curtains on the hotel Windows
Gave me horrible memories.

The color of the Rochester sky.
The mood of the birds that seemed to
Fly in circles.

Certain streets gave me that barfy feeling.

My room was a place of suicide attempts and
Secret places to stash heroin and crack.

Being in public, I did not want to be seen...
Fearful of bumping into the wrong person...

It was easier this time being home, my second time
Since sobriety.
But it was still awkward and like passing through an
Uneasy dream.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Being with my family when I'm sober is getting
Better and better
Each time I come home.

I am grateful for them and
Even more grateful for my Savior
Who gave me a heart of gratitude...
And a living body to put that heart in.

I am thankful to be alive and in a relationship with
Jesus.